Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Romance Thesaurus - Part III

Okay, so we've gone over penis and breasts, and we've gone over nipples and balls, but there is so much more in this wonderful world of romance writing to tackle.

Let's start today with butt, shall we?

 Butt: You can refer to this body part as a butt. Shocking, I know. Also acceptable would be buttocks, backside, ass, rear end, behind. You could even get away with buns or rump on occasion. That should be enough right there, no?

Booty is acceptable in certain cases, according to your tone. Obviously not for use in historicals, etc.

"The queen's pert booty..." No.

Tush is okay. But steer clear of tuckus/tuchus or any other childish derivative.

If you use cheeks, make sure you have made it absolutely clear in the context that you are talking about butt cheeks. Otherwise you'll have some confused readers on your hands.

Please, God, do not use terms like pooter or patootie. Use your judgment. And, guys, we have enough one-word ways to refer to butt. You don't need to go all descriptive on us.

"The tear-drop shaped orbs place right below her spine." Really?

Okay, so how to describe the butt?

Smooth is good. Round, pert, tight, perky, athletic...these all work. Feminine is okay. They do look different from masculine butts in most cases.

Try to avoid fruit comparisons. I've seen apples, pears, melons, pumpkins. No. Just no. Unless you can find a way to compare a butt to a spaghetti squash. That I'd like to see.

So, what do people do to a butt?

They can enter it, cup it, fondle it, touch it tenderly, knead it (though I'm not really a fan of this one), rub it, pull it close, etc.

They can ram into it, butt up against it (see what I did there?), caress it, squeeze it.

I, personally, would avoid ass-to-mouth. I mean, yes, it is done, and yes, some authors write it, and yes, some readers read it. And like it. But not me, though. Just, I mean, there are so many other things to do with a butt than lick it and then kiss the other person. Right? Just throwing that out there.

So, what's next. Hmm. Oh, logically, the hole.

This one is really tough.

How do you sexily refer to an asshole?

Okay, acceptable terms, in my opinion, would be asshole, hole, opening.

I'm less a fan of puckered entrance, or anything puckered really, but I've seen it done and I've made it past it.

And don't forget him and/or her, instead! This is truly a lifesaver. If the context is right, you can totally say, "He pushed gently into her, stretching her, readying her," and you never have to specifically refer to what what up the butt butt. Wonderful.

Okay, and the actions. Let's take this bit by bit.

Ways to get a finger inside a butt:

You can slip it in, push it in gently, insert it, slide it in. Try not to ram it in. Studies show readers appreciate not being pummeled up poophole right away. They like to be eased into it. Sometimes you'll want to massage the area first, or tease the skin around it, or, you know, something.

Once you've got that digit in there, go ahead and push a second one on up. Then you can stretch him or her, seat your fingers, scissor them, get her body used to the intrusion, whatever you like. Usually two fingers is enough before the main event. No need to draw it out more than that.

Ways to describe a butthole or what it does to your character's penis:

Tight, hot, searing, clenching, enclosing around, sheathing.

I have seen pulsating. I do not think it means quite what they think it means, but it works in a pinch. Close enough, right?

Save "milking" for PIV. Something about poop shoot milking just doesn't sit right.

Above all, folks, above all, remember: Do not forget the lube!

1 comment:

  1. Besides being informative, your romance thesaurus cracked me up. Thanks for the help!